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Misprints from church notices and magazines.

 

Many thanks to Lin Holden in UK for sending these. I laughed so much I cried!

  • Next weekend's "Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby" includes all meals.††
  • Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'†
  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.†Smile at someone who is hard to love.†Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.†
  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.†
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.†
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.††
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  • Pot luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • This evening at 7†pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door.
  • The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7†pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.†
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'
 
 
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Hoani Watene, Drugs and Alcohol Counsellor, Gisborne, NZ
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